Sleeping was out of the question for me. Seeing my neighbor switch on the reading light above his seat I did the same. I was carrying a small technical book with me. Since I got the visa, I had not got any time for preparation - what with the frenzy of shopping and meeting relatives and friends - though I had interviews fixed when I reached NJ.

Try as I might I could not get past the first page of the book so I closed it. It is so frustrating when you are flying, don't have anyone to talk to and all that you have is a Java book!! I could not even look out of the window because we were asked to close the shutters to bar the sunlight.

I switched off the overhead light and stretched back in the seat as comfortably as I could. As I wrapped the blanket around myself to keep off the cold of the air-conditioned interior of the plane and closed my eyes, thoughts - which till that moment I had managed to keep out of my mind - slowly crept back in. I can still remember them so clearly as if it all happened just yesterday. It was as if I was debating my decision of going to US.

'God!! I have never ever stayed away from my family. It is totally insane to do it now and head straight for a foreign country.'

'You are no longer a kid. Don't behave like one. It was your decision and you thought a good deal before taking it. Now stand by it.'

'What if it is a wrong decision?'

'You will never find that out if you don't stand by it. Who knows? Maybe it will be a nice experience'

'But how will I stay alone? I don't know anything about life-style there'

'You can speak English, can't you? So you can ask people around. And you have friends there.'

'Yes. But they are all in different states. None of them is in New Jersey.'

'So what? You will find new friends in New Jersey. Just give it a little time.'

'What about my job? What if I don't get any? What will I do then?'

'Why must you always think in the negative manner? You will get a good job and if you don't get one despite trying your best, you can always get back. At least you would have seen what life is like there. Is that not why you are going there in the first place?'

Yes. That was my intention of going to US. I had a nice job in India but I wanted to find out what it was like staying and working in US. What was all the hype about? I wanted to find out. Though I was quite firm about my decision, some anxiety was surely to be felt upon leaving the familiar surroundings.

'What will happen in the worse case? If I don't get a job there, I will get back to India. It is certain that people will say that it was foolishness to have gone there in the first place.' I argued with myself.

'You should have married her off to some NRI if she so much wanted to see life out there. That would have saved her and you all so much of trouble' I could almost hear them telling my parents. Not that there is anything wrong in that but I knew that it would not have worked for me. So I had taken my decision and I was going to stand by it - come what may.

The shutters of many windows were now opening up. And as I looked out of my window at the chocolate colored silent mountains - capped with vanilla white snow - below, the thought that was now uppermost in my mind was that I will make it through - come rain or sunshine!!